


Gift of the Heart

by Antarctic_Echoes



Series: Luciferian Fics (One shots) [44]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Deckerstar - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-14 00:18:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12995679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctic_Echoes/pseuds/Antarctic_Echoes
Summary: Lucifer struggles to find the perfect Christmas gift for Chloe, for she deserves only the best. What would do her justice? Unable to think of anything suitable, he goes to Linda for advice, never suspecting that she would shatter his world.One shot.Takes place in an alternate universe between S3x09 and S3x10, because I wrote this before I saw the fall finale.





	Gift of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the angsty fic -- I worry about our favorite couple. This is how I rid myself of anxiety, lol.
> 
> A huge shout-out to my wonderful friend Navaros, who helped me with the title and the summary. Thank you so so so much, you awesome person you! <3 <3 <3  
> This has not been beta-ed, so I apologize for all mistakes.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker, Dan Espinoza. Linda Martin and Marcus Pierce are owned by Vertigo Comics, DC Comics, Neil Gaiman, Mike Carey, and everyone else involved with the Lucifer TV show and comic books. I own nothing and make no money on this. I merely am borrowing the characters for... uh... writing practice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas was a little over two weeks away, and Lucifer still had not bought anything for his partner.

Normally he wouldn’t have worried -- buying gifts for humans had never been a problem -- but this was different.  Chloe meant so much to him that he wanted to get her the perfect gift.  Some ideas had come to mind, but that was before he had noticed the way she looked at Lieutenant Pierce.  Seeing her admiring gaze on someone other than himself worried him.  He would have even said it scared him, if the Devil was one to scare easily -- which he was not.  But still, he knew he had to do something to make her look at him with favor.  Not that it would have made a difference -- she was a miracle from Dad and therefore off-limits to him -- but the thought of his partner attracted to someone else made his stomach twist into knots.  He had to buy her something that would make an impression on her.  Something grand, that would outdo anything that Pierce would get her.  But what?

Frustrated with his lack of ideas, he went to see Doctor Linda.  His therapist knew Chloe. Surely she’d know of something that his partner would like...?  But when he asked her, she had shrugged and said to get her something from his heart.

“My heart?”  Lucifer furrowed his brow as he studied the blonde therapist.  “Are you suggesting that I tear out my heart and hand it to her like a bloody sacrifice?”

Linda burst into laughter.  “No!  What I’m saying is that Chloe isn’t the type who likes grand gestures.  You’d be better off getting her something small, personal --”

“Small?!”  The fallen angel stared at her like she had lost her mind.  “Clearly you and I are not on the same page.  I’m the _Devil,_ Doctor.  I do _not_ do small... well, except for her birthday, but that was different.”  He thought a moment as he tapped his chin.  “Right.  Maybe she’d like a car.  Lieutenant Pierce couldn’t afford to give her a car, could he?  But I could.  And she needs one.  After all, her car is so _boring._  Maybe she’d like a Lamborghini?”

The blonde therapist rolled her eyes and pulled at the back of her neck.  “Lucifer, no.”

He frowned.  “Why not? Everyone wants a supercar!  It can go much faster than what she drives now, and she can catch all the bad guys --”

_”No.”_

“But why not?” He rose to his feet and started to pace before stopping and throwing himself down on the couch.  Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he pursed his lips and pouted.

Linda took a deep breath.  “Because Christmas is about the spirit of giving.”

Lucifer flung his arms into the air.  “Yes, I know that!  What do you think I’m trying to do here?”

“Outdo the lieutenant.”

“Well, of _course_ I’m trying to outdo the lieutenant! What’s wrong with that?” he cried.

For a long moment silence reigned as Linda rubbed her forehead.  Finally she took a deep breath and pinned him with her steady gaze.  “The real question here is: _why_ are you trying to outdo the lieutenant?”

“Because....”  Lucifer faltered, then looked away.  What could he say?  He wanted Chloe’s attention, he wanted her to look at him the way she looked at Pierce. He wanted her to love him the way he... the way he....

The way he loved her.

Which was impossible, of course, considering the circumstances of her birth.  He looked down at his hands resting in his lap and tried to stop the ache in his chest.  When he glanced up at his therapist, he caught the pity in her gaze.  His mouth tightening, he looked away as his hand rubbed at his stubbly cheek.

“Lucifer, there’s nothing wrong with having feelings for Chloe,” Linda said gently.

His eyes burned with tears as he bit his lower lip.  “Yes, there is.  Dad threw her in my path, and I can’t... I can’t....”  He grabbed the water pitcher on the coffee table and poured himself a tumbler of water with shaking hands.  He downed the liquid in one gulp and longed for it to be Scotch.

Linda tilted her head at him.  “If you can’t have feelings for her, then why does it bother you so much that she might be developing feelings for Lieutenant Pierce?”

“Because she’s meant for _me!”_  Jumping to his feet, he started pacing, his steps jerky.  “She’s not supposed to be making eyes at him!”  Whirling on Linda, he flung out his hands.  “She’s supposed to have feelings for _me!_ She’s my partner, I found her first!  And I love --”  He broke off and turned away, cursing his runaway tongue.  He had never meant to say so much.

Linda’s voice was soft behind him.  “You love her.”

The fallen angel dropped his chin to his chest as his shoulders slumped.  “I don’t know what to do.”  He flung himself onto the couch and cradled his head in his hands. “I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

The therapist sighed.  “Maybe....”

He looked up.  “Maybe...?”

“Maybe it’s time you stopped thinking about what _you_ want, and start thinking about what’s best for her.  Maybe she was never meant for you, Lucifer.  Maybe she was meant to fall in love with a normal human being.  Maybe Lieutenant Pierce is the one she is supposed to be with.  Have you considered that?”

He gaped, stunned at her words, then burst out into laughter.  “You must be joking!  Why, the very idea is ludicrous --”

“Is it?”

The blood rushed out of his face as he realized she was serious.  His heart stuttered in his chest as he scrambled for words.  “No, you must be mistaken.  She makes me mortal.  Dad had Amenadiel bless her mum.  There’s no way she’s not for me --”

“Maybe he just wanted John and Penelope to be happy and have a child, and Chloe’s affect on you is merely a result of the circumstances of her birth.  Maybe she affects all angels the same way.”

Horror swept through him at Linda’s words.  She hadn’t been made just for him?  No... impossible.  Lucifer shook his head fiercely.  He cared about her too much for her not to have been made just for him.  “No.  No, that can’t be.  So many people desire children.  Dad... Dad wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble just to torture me in such a manner....”  His voice petered out.

_Yes, he would._

Swallowing hard, the fallen angel looked at Linda with agony in his eyes.  “Right.  So all this... all this was just a big joke on Dad’s part?  Let’s make Lucifer have feelings and suffer?”  The tears he had been so desperate to hold back welled in his eyes. It was cruel... and exactly what his father would have done.  Shifting his gaze to the ceiling, he laughed long and hard as he squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the tears away.  When he finally got himself under control, he pulled up a bitter smile.  “I should have known.”

Linda frowned at him.  “I’m sure it wasn’t like that --”

“How else would it be?” he snapped.  “He knew she’d cross my path!  He _knew_ it!  And he knew that I’d... I’d...”  He scrubbed his face.  The bottom dropped out of his stomach as he suddenly recalled Chloe’s expression when he had returned from Las Vegas with Candy on his arm.  The blood drained from his face as he gazed at Linda.  “Bloody hell, what have I done?”

“Lucifer --”

“I pushed her away, when I had no reason to.  I was trying to do right by her, to save her from a fate that Dad had shoved onto her.  I destroyed any feelings she might have harbored for me, only to find out that it was for _nothing,_ and now she’s... she’s....”  A sharp pain stabbed his heart.  Squeezing his eyes shut, he sunk his head into his hands once again.  He wanted to die.  His voice fell to a whisper.  “I... I thought we’d at least stay friends.”

Despite his soft tone, she heard.  “You will always be friends.  But maybe it’s time you let her go and let her live her life.  She deserves to have some happiness, don’t you think?”

Unshed tears burned in his eyes and his throat tightened until he could barely breathe.  Let her go?  How was he to do that?  He didn’t know how.  In all of his very long life, she was the only one who had ever mattered to him.  There was only Chloe.

Linda’s voice was gentle when she finally spoke.  “You were trying to do the right thing, and that’s always commendable.”

A harsh laugh escaped him.  “The right thing.”  When he raised his head to look at her, his eyes blazed with fire.  “Since when has doing the right thing ever served me well?”  He jumped to his feet and headed to the door.

She rose when he did.  “Where are you going?”

With his hand on the doorknob, he turned and glared at her.  “Right.  I won’t let Dad win.  The Detective and I were meant to be together.  I’m going to explain it all to her and hopefully she will....”

He swallowed at the tightness in his throat, unable to continue, as he threw himself out the door.  It wasn’t too late -- it couldn’t have been. He could still fix this and have a little bit of joy in his life.  There wasn’t anything wrong with being happy, was there?  Surely Dad wouldn’t begrudge him just a little happiness, for once?

His heart pounding in his chest, he hopped into his Corvette and raced back to the precinct. There was still time -- there had to be.  He knew he could fix this.  Surely he could bring back that look of love in Chloe’s eyes...?  Yes, of course he could.  She had felt something for him when she had kissed him on the beach, hadn’t she?  She had been so afraid for him when he had saved the two students from Doctor Carlisle, and the look of love she had given him after he had saved her life from the poison had been real.  He could rekindle those feelings once again, he knew he could.  He wouldn’t lose her -- he _wouldn’t._

Striding quickly through the precinct, his eyes searched for Chloe.  Where was she?  His stomach churned and his chest tightened, strangling the breath in his throat.  He had to find her, tell her....  It wasn’t too late, it _wasn’t._  He could make this right.  His strides widened as he quickened his pace.  She wasn’t at her desk, so he headed to Ella’s office.  No, the bubbly lab tech was alone, peering into a microscope.  So where was his partner?

With dread, his feet took him to the lieutenant’s office.  Through the open doorway, he caught sight of Chloe standing by Pierce’s desk, with the tall man hovering close to her.  The fallen angel took a few steps forward, intent on interrupting the cozy scene, when the lieutenant handed the blonde detective a small, wrapped box.  His heart in his mouth, Lucifer changed directions and hid behind a filing cabinet.

_No, no, no...._

He wanted to look away, to run, to unsee the look of joy in her eyes as she stared down at the package in her hands, but he couldn’t.  Frozen in place, he gripped the filing cabinet hard enough to leave finger indentations in the metal.

Chloe’s small, excited exclamation stabbed him in the heart like a knife.  When she looked up at the lieutenant with that look of love in her eyes, he felt bile rise in his throat. Swallowing convulsively, he watched as Pierce straightened and thrust out his chest.  The blood rushed from his face as Chloe hugged the lieutenant.

Too late.  Too damned late.

Lucifer’s legs went out from under him and he would have fallen if it hadn’t been for his tight grip on the cabinet.   _This_ was what doing the right thing had wrought.  He had pushed Chloe away, all in an effort to protect her from him, and what had it gotten him?  A kick in the teeth by dear old Dad... but he should have known.  He was the Devil, after all.  A monster.  Dad would never let him be happy... ever.  The sight of Chloe with Pierce sent a sharp, knifing pain into his chest.  It felt as if he had been shot by Malcolm Graham at point blank range all over again -- except this was far more excruciating.  His insides were completely cold.  His heart had shattered into a million pieces and he didn’t know how to fix it.

With slumped shoulders, he shuffled away from the scene of Chloe with her lieutenant like an old man.  Dan ran into him as he wandered aimlessly through the precinct, and stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Hey, man, you okay?  You’re as white as a ghost --”

Lucifer said nothing.  What could he say?  He slipped from Dan’s grip and kept walking.  Once he finally made it outside, he let the tears flow from his eyes.  He had lost the one person who had ever meant anything to him.  He was alone... again.

 

 

  
________________________________________

 

 

Chloe couldn’t believe what was happening.  Marcus had called her into his office to give her a Christmas present!  With shaking hands, she had peeled off the wrapping paper and opened the box to find a lovely peridot pendant on a gold chain.

“I know peridot isn’t your birthstone, but it symbolizes strength,” Marcus said.  “It seemed fitting.”

The light green gemstone sparkled at her as she held it up to the light.  “Oh, Marcus....”  She turned to him and shook her head.  “It’s too much.”

A stubborn look crossed his face.  “You’re my best detective, Chloe.  You deserve it.”  He waved at the pendant that Lucifer had given her -- the bullet that she had shot him with.  “It’s far better than that weird thing you’re wearing.”

Her face burned.  A part of her grew angry at his comment, but she said nothing.  Marcus was her superior, and he was right -- it was an odd gift....

“Here, let me put this on you.”  He took off Lucifer’s necklace and handed it to her, then fastened the new gift around her neck.  Chloe’s heart pounded at the feel of Marcus’s hands touching her skin, for it seemed so intimate.  Taking a step back, he gazed at her with admiration.  “There.  It suits you.”

“I....”  Flustered, Chloe tucked Lucifer’s necklace in her pocket before running her hands down her sides and smiling.  “Thank you.”

Pierce glanced through the glass door of his office into the bullpen.  “Is your partner around?”

She cocked her head at the sudden change of topics.  “I don’t think so.  He was supposed to meet me here, but --”

“Good.  I’ll go with you to check out the suspects on the Valdez case.”  The tall man smiled warmly down at her.  “And then I’ll buy you dinner.”

Her cheeks grew pink under his admiring gaze and butterflies winged their way in her stomach.  As she walked back to her desk to gather the file on the case, she heard Dan call to her.  He reached her quickly, looking worried, but froze when he saw the gift box in her hand.  His eyes flew to her necklace, then at the direction from which she had just come.  His head reared back and his expression closed.  “Oh.”

What did that mean?  Crossing her arms in front of her, she lifted her chin.  “You have something to say?”

He took a step back, lifting his hands defensively.  “Look, Chloe, who you decide to see is none of my business.  But I thought you said he was an ass...?”

Her mouth went dry and she flinched.  She _had_ said that, but still, why throw that in her face now?  She took a step back and glared at him with narrowed eyes. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Look, I’m just saying....”

She blew a lock of hair out of her face.  “It’s true I said that, but lately he’s been....”  Her voice faded as she reached up and fingered the peridot pendant.  Taking a deep breath, she looked him in the eye and raised her voice.  “That’s neither here nor there.  I can see who I want.”

“Decker, you got that file?” Marcus called from the doorway.  “Let’s go!”

“Be right there!” Chloe yelled back at him before turning back to her ex.  “Look, Dan, I have to go --”

“You’re working with the lieutenant?”

Was that censure in his voice?  “Yes.  He’s giving me a hand with the Valdez case.”

His lips twisted into a sad smile.  “I see.”  He started to turn away, then glanced over his shoulder at her.  “I ran into Lucifer in the halls and he looked....  He didn’t look good, and now I know why.  If you’re going to replace him with the lieutenant as your partner, that’s your choice, but... geez, Chloe, you should have let him down gently, at least.”

Her mouth fell open.  “What are you talking --”

“Decker!”  Pierce’s voice cut through the air.

With a hard look at her, Dan walked away.

Although Chloe wanted to chase down her ex to find out what he meant, Marcus didn’t let her.  He peppered her with questions and theories, which kept her mind occupied.  It wasn’t long before she was fully engrossed in the case.  All thoughts of Dan and Lucifer were quickly forgotten.

The lieutenant kept her busy, but he also stayed close to her, always lingering around her.  They had more heart-to-heart discussions as they worked the case, with him telling her about his brother, and her telling him more about her father.  They grew closer, and Chloe had to admit that she was flattered by all the attention.  Marcus was charming, handsome, and attentive.  She should have been over the moon that such a wonderful man was interested in her.

And yet....

There was something about him that didn’t sit well with her.  Maybe it was because of the few instances where he became a dickish lieutenant and treated her like trash -- although he always made it up to her with lunch or dinner.  Maybe it was the way he treated others -- again, like trash.  Or perhaps it was the memory of him throwing Dan under the proverbial bus by giving him the union rep job -- a job for has-beens-- just to show how highly he thought of her.  Yes, there was something about him that bothered her deep inside, but she pushed it away, telling herself that she was being silly.  Marcus was a highly decorated lieutenant -- a rock star among law enforcement.  It was obvious he was a good man.  He was just being a hardass... right?

He worked her harder than she had ever worked. When she got home each night, she was too exhausted to spend any quality time with Trixie.  Maze complained about it, but Chloe didn’t have the energy to argue.  It was all she could do just to climb into bed, and as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.  She didn’t even have the energy to spare a thought for Lucifer.

Before she knew it, two weeks had passed.

The Valdez case closed the day of the department Christmas Eve party.  Excited and relieved that they had gotten the murderer, Chloe had eagerly accepted when Marcus asked her to be his date.  It had been a fine evening, marred only by one incident near the end of the night.  When Dan had gotten a little tipsy, the lieutenant laid into him, calling him a failure and a corrupt cop in front of everyone there.  Dan’s face had gone white and he had left with his date, Charlotte Richards, chasing after him.  Appalled, Chloe started to go after Dan, only to be stopped by Marcus’s hand on her arm.

“Leave him, Chloe.  Good riddance,” he said harshly.

Her mouth dropped.  “You just....  You shouldn’t have said that to Dan.”

“Why not?  It’s about time he learned that we don’t have any use for guys like him in the department.”

She couldn’t believe her ears.  What had happened to the nice man who bought her lunch and dinner, who had saved her life?  “But humiliating him in front of the whole department -- was that really necessary?”

Shrugging, the tall man’s eyes glittered with contempt as he gazed in the direction that Dan had fled.  “Whatever works.”

At that moment, the wrongness she had been pushing away returned full force.  She could no longer deny that, deep down, Marcus was not a kind man.  And on the heels of that thought came the realization that Lucifer _was_ \-- despite all of his claims of being the Devil or a monster or other such nonsense, Lucifer was kind.  Marcus was not.

A sudden longing hit her, so strong that her chest hurt.  She missed her partner.  The last two weeks had been insanely busy, but she should have found the time to call him, check up on him, see if he was okay.  It felt like years since she had last heard from him.  No phone calls, no texts, not even a glimpse of him.  What had happened to him?  Had he left town again?  Her heart suddenly fluttered in her chest like a trapped bird.  Pleading exhaustion, she made her excuses and left the party.  When Marcus offered to drive her, she forced out a laugh and said she could drive herself, telling him that she needed to get back to her daughter, since it was Christmas Eve.

But she didn’t drive home.  Instead, she drove to LUX.

On the way there, she dialed Lucifer, but the phone went straight to voicemail, meaning that he had either turned it off or it was dead.  That wasn’t at all reassuring.

Pulling up in front of the club, she hopped out of her car and handed her keys to the valet.  LUX was busy, as usual, so she bypassed the long line of clubgoers and headed right for the glass doors.  At her approach, the bouncer immediately recognized her and unclipped the velvet rope to let her inside.

As she walked down the stairs, she scanned the crowded club for her partner.  When she didn’t see him, her mouth went dry and her stomach roiled.  Where was he?  It wasn’t that late in the evening -- he should have been there, playing his piano and singing, or flirting with the patrons.  But he wasn’t.  As she recalled the lack of any contact from him for the last two weeks, her insides went cold.  What if something had happened to him?  If it had, she would never forgive herself for being so involved with work... and Marcus.  All this time, she hadn’t even given a thought to her wayward partner.   The urge to kick herself was overwhelming.

Once at the bottom of the stairs, she changed directions and headed for the private elevator at the back of the club.  She stabbed the call button with her finger repeatedly.  He had to be okay.  He had to be there.  She didn’t even care if he was up there having an orgy of epic proportions -- as long as she saw that he was okay, she could forgive him anything.

The ride up to the penthouse seemed longer than it usually did. She paced in the small space before finally planting her hands on either side of the door and leaning forward, as if to urge the car go to faster.  Her fingers tapped the wall as the elevator shot skyward, beeping at each level it passed.

“Come on, come on!” she growled.

When the elevator doors finally slid open, she couldn’t believe her eyes.

The penthouse was in complete disarray.  Alcohol bottles -- some whole, some broken -- were strewn everywhere, and candy wrappers littered the floor.  A multitude of empty cookie packages sat on the piano, and the bench was overturned.  The couch and armchairs in the living room were upended and the coffee table lay in shattered ruins on the area rug.  All the books in the study had been dumped onto the floor.  It looked as if a tornado had hit the place.

Her heart in her mouth, Chloe picked her way through the debris.  She listened for the sound of voices, sex, laughter -- anything, but it was dead silent.  Oh god, what had happened?  “Lucifer?”

No response.

Her eye caught a slight movement in the master bedroom.  Nearly tripping on all the bottles and trash everywhere, she carefully made her way to the bedroom and peeked in.  There was a lump of covers on the bed that looked suspiciously like a person.

“Lucifer?”  She slowly approached as she eyed the lump with suspicion.  Her fingers went to her purse where she had her gun.  “Is that you?”

“Go away,” said a distinct British voice from under the covers.

Her tension instantly draining away, Chloe bit her lip to keep from laughing with relief at the sound of her partner’s voice.  Making her way to the bed, she sat down on the mattress.  “What are you doing under there?”

“None of your business.”  The lump edged away from her.  “Leave me in my misery, Detective.”

The blood drained out of her face, and her heart stuttered at his words.  “Misery?  What happened?  Are you okay?”

The blankets on the lump grew taut, as if Lucifer had pulled them tight around him, making an impenetrable barrier.  His muffled voice sounded bitter when he spoke.  “Right.  There’s no need for you to pretend concern.  You may go back and live your happy life now.”

Her brows furrowed.  “You’re not making any sense.  What are you talking about?”  When he didn’t answer, she tugged at the blankets.  “Will you come out of there?  I can’t talk to a blanket blob.”

“No.”

She sighed.  Lucifer was being even more difficult than Trixie had been in her terrible twos.  “Yes.  Come out of there.”

“I won’t.”

Rolling her eyes, she took a deep breath.  “I can’t talk to you like this.  Please, Lucifer?”

Silence.

She rubbed her forehead.  “Look, I know it’s been a while since I checked in with you --”

“Fifteen days, thirteen hours, eleven minutes and twenty seconds since I last saw you, but who’s counting?  Oh.  Thirty seconds now... no, forty.  Oh, bloody hell.  Forget the seconds.”

Her eyebrows went up. Fifteen days ago was when the lieutenant had given her the necklace.  She touched the pendant around her neck, then swiftly removed it.  The thought of Lucifer seeing her wearing Marcus’s gift instead of his sent her stomach churning.  After jamming it into her purse, she shook the lump of blankets.  “Look, I’m sorry for not calling --”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”  Lucifer peeked out from the blankets and held them tightly around him.  “You never have to be sorry with me.”

Chloe was shocked at his appearance.  His stubble had turned into a short, scraggly beard, his hair was completely askew, and he looked haggard, like he hadn’t slept in weeks.  The wonderful, boyish energy he always had around him was gone, and his eyes.... Chloe’s breath caught as she looked at his red-rimmed eyes.  They appeared completely lifeless.  “What happened to you?”

His gaze flew to hers, then away, as if he couldn’t bear to look at her.  “The truth, Detective.  I was hit in the face with the truth.”

Cocking her head at him, she drew her eyebrows down.  “I don’t understand.”

A bitter laugh escaped him.  “You don’t need to.  Just... go, Detective.  I find it painful to look at you.”

That hurt.  She didn’t know why, but it did.  Was he that angry at her for not getting in touch with him sooner?  Tears burned in her eyes as her hand fell away from the blankets, and her voice grew thick.  “Oh.  Okay.  Of course. I’ll go --”

When she made to get up, Lucifer quickly reached over and touched her arm, stilling her movements.  As she glanced at him, she saw his face spasm as if in pain.  “I’ve hurt you again, haven’t I?”  His lips twisted into a semblance of a smile.  “It seems that’s all I can do these days.  Best you get away while you’re still in one piece, before the monster that I am tears you to shreds.”

That had her sitting back down hard on the bed.  “You are not a monster.”

A harsh laugh burst from his lips.  “Of course I am, Detective.  I’m the Devil.  A monster --”

_“No.”_

He exhaled sharply and looked away.  When he spoke again, his voice was sad.  “I am trying so hard to do right by you, Detective.”  He ground the heels of his palms into his eyes.  “And I can’t even do that right.”

His anguish pulled at her heartstrings. She didn’t know what was going on with him, but whatever had happened had triggered the self loathing that he carried around him like a cloak.  And here she thought he had been getting better about that....  “Lucifer, what happened?  Let me help you.  We’re partners --”

“No, we’re not.”

Chloe’s mouth fell open.  “How can you say that?”  Heat filled her face as she realized that she hadn’t contacted him in two weeks.  She held up her hands and said, “Okay, yes, I know why you think that, but I have a perfectly good -- well, no, I don’t have a perfectly good reason, but I was busy on a case --”

“I know. Lieutenant Pierce told me.”

She blinked.  “What?  You... you talked to the lieutenant?”

Lucifer looked away.  “He phoned me... said I was a loose cannon and that you didn’t need a partner like me.  He said he was taking over as your new partner and that I was dismissed from my consulting duties.”

_“What?!”_

His eyes shot back to hers.  “Oh, but you needn’t worry, Detective.  I already knew that we were no longer....”  He broke off and threw the blanket back over his head.

Chloe couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  For a brief moment her head spun, and she felt as if she was going to pass out.  A dull roar filled her ears and pressure started to build up behnd her eyes until she thought her head would explode.  Grabbing the blanket tightly, she yanked it off of Lucifer’s head and glared at him.  “Now you listen to me, Lucifer Morningstar.  You’re _my_ partner.  Pierce is _not_ going to get between us.  I won’t let him.”

Lucifer blinked owlishly at her with a bewildered expression on his face.  “But he already is.”

Her eyes narrowed as she studied him.  “What do you mean?”

The tall man said nothing as he twisted the covers in his hands.

With a sigh, Chloe reached over and covered one of his hands with hers.  When he glanced up at her, surprise in his gaze, she looked deep into his eyes and softened the tone of her voice.

“Lucifer, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

He stared up at her, his expression full of... was that hope?  Chloe blinked at the sight.  He looked like a drowning man reaching for a lifeline.  “I... I think so.”

“Then talk to me.  I want to help you, but I can’t if I don’t know all the facts.  So please... tell me what’s going on.”

His gaze fell to her hand covering his.  Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and released it slowly.  When he spoke, his voice was small.  “I wanted to do the right thing.  I tried so hard....”  he broke off and ran a hand over his face.  “I tried, but as always, Dad had the last laugh.”

He laughed bitterly, then looked at Chloe.  Her insides clenched at what she saw in his eyes: sorrow, resignation... and pain -- so much pain that it broke her heart.

“I ruined everything, haven’t I?”  He gave a rueful chuckle.  “But then I’m the Devil.  It’s to be expected.”

“Lucifer --”

“I’m not blind,” he interrupted ruthlessly, his eyes glittering like diamonds.  “I saw him give you a Christmas present, and I saw how you looked at him -- how you looked at each other.  And as much as I’d like to, I won’t fight when the war’s already been lost.”  He took a deep breath.  “So I’ll leave town by New Year’s Day.  You won’t have to worry -- you won’t see me again.”

Oh, god.  Chloe’s insides went cold at his words.  Large chunks of her world started to crash around her as she realized the one person she should have been with all along was the one who was letting her go.  And all because of an ass of a lieutenant who had turned her head with sweet words and brought her dinner.

“Lucifer, listen to me.”  She struggled to keep the fear and desperation out of her voice.  “Marcus -- Pierce doesn’t mean anything to me.  Sure, I was flattered by his attentions.  I mean, he’s handsome and he says all the right things, but he’s not... he’s not....”

_You.  He’s not you._

Biting her tongue, she held back those words.  They were liable to scare her partner to death, and then he’d run off to Vegas and get himself married to some blonde bimbo again.  “He’s not a kind man,” she finally said.  “But you are.  Even though you’re childish and sometimes you drive me absolutely crazy, deep down inside you _are_ a good man.”

The tall man snorted as he clenched the covers in his fists.  “Nay, I’m not.  I’m the Devil, Detective --”

“You say that, but I don’t believe it.”  She glared at him.  “I know you, Lucifer.  You want everyone to think you’re some big, bad monster, but you’re not.  You’re a good man.  A kind man.  You are impulsive and sometimes you can be an ass, but you have never been cruel -- and that means a lot to me.”

His mouth fell open.  “It... it does?”

Chloe nodded.  “Absolutely.  Marcus -- the Lieutenant....  He can be kind when he wants to be, but there’s also this part of him that... well, isn’t.  And his passive-aggressiveness drains me.  I don’t want to be with someone that I have to walk on eggshells around.”

“But I saw you hug him --”

She held her tongue about all the feelings she had felt for Marcus initially.  “I was thanking him for the Christmas gift.”

He swallowed hard.  “You didn’t call me for two weeks.”

She winced at the hurt in his voice.  “And I apologize for that.  I was... preoccupied with work.”  Well, that was partially true, at least.  “Look, I need to have a partner whom I can trust, who has my back.  Someone who has a good heart.  That person is you.”

“It... it is?”

Her heart clenched with pity at his question.  For a brief moment, she saw the young boy he had once been -- neglected, afraid to be hurt again, yet wanting reassurance.  She squeezed his hand.  “Yes.  You’re my partner.  You make me a better detective.  I need you, Lucifer.  I want you back.”

“But I hurt you.”  His eyes fell to her hand covering his, and he slowly slipped out of her grip.  “I ran off to Las Vegas, when I should have stayed.  I can’t tell you how much I regret that.”  He grimaced.  “And then I discovered it had all been for naught.”

Frowning, she furrowed her brows.  “I don’t understand.”

He shook his head.  “You don’t need to.  Just know that I never intended to hurt you, even though I did -- badly.”

She took a deep breath.  “And I hurt you.  Sometimes people hurt each other.  It happens.  But it doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends or partners.  Sometimes it takes a little misunderstanding to clear the air.  But the important thing is that we communicate.  So no more talk about leaving, okay?  You’re stuck with me.”

He finally sat up, the blankets falling into a pile around his waist, and dropped his chin to his pajama-clad chest.  He whispered, “You’re too good for me, Detective.”

Reaching over, she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gave him an encouraging smile.  “We’re good for each other.”

He bit his lower lip and worried it between his teeth.  “But what about the lieutenant?  You have feelings --”

No, no, no -- she had to disabuse his notion that she had feelings for Pierce.  “To hell with the lieutenant.  I’ll talk to him and get this all straightened out.  Just come back.  Please?”  Lucifer shut his eyes, but not before she saw the glimmer of tears in them.  She was stunned at the sight -- he never cried....  

He finally said, “I don’t deserve this.”

She squeezed his shoulders.  “Of course you do.”  Tilting her head, she caught his eye and gave him an encouraging smile.  “Now why don’t you come home with me?”  Holding up her hand, she gave him a teasing grin.  “You can stay on the couch, not in my bed, okay?  Your place is a mess and I don’t want you to be alone tonight.  Besides, it’s Christmas Eve and Trixie will love to see you tomorrow morning.  She might even be up when we get home.”  She winked at him.  “She’s watching Christmas horror movies with Maze.”

A smile finally touched the tall man’s lips.  “Indeed?  I didn’t know they made Christmas horror movies.”

Chloe chuckled.  “They don’t, but Maze thinks that all Christmas movies are horror movies.”

That had Lucifer chuckling, but only for a second before a look of absolute horror crossed his features. “It’s Christmas Eve?  But... but I don’t have anything to give you --”

Pain stabbed her heart at his obvious distress.  Squeezing his shoulders once again, she gazed at him with tenderness.  “You’re giving me the best Christmas gift ever -- you.  You’re staying here as my partner, and that’s more precious to me than anything physical.”

Tears flooded his eyes, turning them very bright.  “Detective....”

With gentle hands, she pulled him into a hug, saying nothing about the wet warmth of his tears against her neck.  “Stay with me, Lucifer. Just say that you’ll stay.”

“I’ll stay,” he whispered as his arms came around to hold onto her in a tight embrace.  “I give you my word.”

Smiling as she held him close, Chloe felt warmth flood her insides and her heart sang with joy.  Everything seemed to suddenly click into place now that she knew what -- or rather who -- she wanted, and it all felt... _right._  Who knew, maybe they could go back to that point just before he left for Las Vegas and start their relationship over...?  She hoped so -- oh, how she hoped so!  Her head and heart filled with dreams at the possibility of a new beginning for the both of them.  He was the only one for her, and as long as she had him by her side, she could face whatever the future held in store for them.

 

 


End file.
